Idylically located on scenic and poetically storm-lashed Hellcat Island, Bedlam Asylum is the perfect place for unwanted relatives and friends who are (as we experts say) 'not quite right in the head'. Our patients enjoy the most luxurious and modern facilities (straw on cell floors changed twice each and every month).

Support Our Institution

$1.00 can feed a lunatic for an entire month. $5.00 can buy a reconditioned electric cattle prod. If you enjoy this site, please consider donating something towards its future maintenance - no amount is too small.

After we'd removed his lunacy, this patient was allowed to go home.

Our little haven for sanity-challenged people opened its doors over 50 years ago and in all that time, thanks to electric fences, attack dogs and armed Carpathian Gypsies we haven't lost a single nutcase yet.

Check out our inventive projects and therapies - some of our loonies actually return to life in the outside world after a short, sharp shock at Bedlam...sadly, many more fail to survive the treatment - but you can't make an omelette without breaking eggs, right?

Our Electro-Shock room is really popular with inmates - they literally scream for more voltage. Only this morning a patient heartily endorsed this stimulating activity with the enthususiastic words: "No...more...don't...stop" - he was obviously asking us to give him the works, so we gladly obliged.

Hellcat Island is situated south of the famous Jacko Island.

A Wetton Airways flying boat carries passengers and mail to Jacko every Thursday.

"The Jacko Star" provides a limited number of berths for visitors in addition to carrying bananas back to the mainland - Sailings on Mondays and Wednesdays.

Our private launch takes patients and their keepers across Sorrows Channel to Hellcat Island as and when required. Please tell us that you need this facility otherwise you'll have to swim.