"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron."

H.L. Mencken - July 26th, 1920 (The Evening Sun).

HAIL TO THE THIEF (OF BAGHDAD)

This area of our museum is dedicated to a power-hungry liar, drunkard, recreational drug-user, coward and mass-murderer who has, with the aid of a few like-minded  hypocrites, made the USA the most hated nation on Earth. Stay tuned for the incredible true story of a dysfunctional, mentally-challenged dimwit who wasted the lives of thousands of soldiers in distant lands, poisoned the air, violated citizens' civil rights and transformed the cash surplus he inherited into a shocking deficit that the great-grandchildren of today's citizens will still be paying.

George W. Bush is living, breathing proof that the American Dream is real. In any other country a man with his qualities would be in jail...but in the USA, the land of boundless opportunity, there was nothing to stop him from rising to the top of the dungheap.

HEROIC FIGHTER PILOT...?

George W. had no intention of risking his life in Vietnam; fortunately, his family connections enabled him to avoid that unpleasant possibility. His father, George Senior who had been an Avenger pilot in World War II, pulled strings - George Jr jumped over the heads of 150 other men and straight into the Air National Guard (where he could defend Democracy part-time from the safety of a home posting). George Senior knew all about the hazards of war and though he had combat experience, he also had a yellow streak just as wide as the one on the back of his increasingly disappointing son.

Whilst on a bombing mission in the Pacific Theatre, George Senior's plane was hit by Japanese anti-aircaft fire. He immediately gave way to panic and bailed out - leaving his two crewmen to die as the still flyable, minimally-damaged Avenger dived (pilotless and uncontrolled) into the sea. George Senior was picked up by a submarine and decorated for 'heroism'. Sometime later, a tail-gunner from another plane in his flight revealed what had really happened, but Bush and his political allies defamed this witness ruthlessly and ridiculed his testimony so completely that few were willing to listen to the truth - a method of self-protection that George Jr has emulated many times over the years.

A FREE RIDE

Having been given a route to safety, how did George W. qualify as a fighter pilot and officer? You might imagine that he had to train and study for a very long time...you may picture him undergoing gruelling tests, steadfastly building his mind and body and accumulating special skills before earning his insignia and the right to fly a fast jet. Well, George's route to rank and status was rather shorter and less arduous than that...in fact, he was the only National Guard pilot during the Vietnam War to be commissioned without any officer training at all. He never attended any service academy, he was never active in the ROTC at college, he never went to Officers Candidate School and had zero experience of serving as an enlisted man.

Before being commissioned, Bush attended a very basic six-week airman level course - the equivalent of Army boot camp for privates. Unlike the other recruits, who were expected to march, drill, learn simple weapons skills and do chores (including kitchen work and latrine cleaning), George was excused arduous tasks and given a week's leave to assist a political candidate in Florida.

George W.'s main interests were high-living, booze and dope, so his written test results were less than impressive. He registered scores which were calculated to give him the lowest possible passing grade. Following basic training in Texas, the newly-commissioned 2nd Lt. Bush Jr headed off to fly training planes at Moody Air Force Base in Georgia.  By some miracle, he managed to satisfy his instructors without killing them.

A DRUNKEN SOT WITH WINGS

When posted to serve with an active Air National Guard unit, George W.'s performance declined from barely adequate to downright dangerous.  He had no job other than his duties as a 'Weekend Warrior', so he filled his days and nights with parties, plus round the clock drinking sessions.  Not surprisingly, his alcohol-befuddled reflexes made him increasingly unstable and an even poorer pilot. He had difficulties landing his aircraft and was ordered to fly only less powerful training aircraft (with an instructor on board). When it became necessary for him to have a full medical examination in order to keep flying, George W. made himself unavailable; his superiors had no choice but to ground him. This suited him fine - even though he was technically making himself absent without official leave.  He had become afraid of flying and he knew that his prodigious daily intake of drink and drugs had amplified his lack of ability to the point where he was incapable of fulfilling his duty.

Bush and his minions later portrayed his military career in a very different light - his official online biography inaccurately claimed that he had served as an interceptor pilot for over six years (including time spent in Vietnam). Researchers who refuted this myth with the genuine facts were accused of 'muckraking' and character assassination. Ironically, Bush's political campaigns have been marked by several smear campaigns against opponents who had genuinely good war records.