The most evil men in the galaxy are meeting on an armoured, Indiana Jones-proof
train to discuss their wicked plans. All the villains you love to hiss at
are there - Hitler, Charlie Chaplin, George W. Bush, Darth Vader, that violent
Klingon guy with the boots that the rock band Kiss imitated, Ming The Merciless
and his gentler brother Chang The Cheerful.
As they sit in the dining car - having barred the other passengers from that
part of the train so they can eat all the cream cakes and share none with
the less evil travellers - the President of Israel feels something tickling
his ankle...seconds later, he falls to the floor dead - killed by the bite
of a vicious poisonous snake. Then Freddy Kruger discovers that the doors
and windows of the carriage are all locked and bolted shut....they are trapped.
Somebody - perhaps an annoyingly good person or maybe one of their own number
- is attempting to wipe them out.
This was the last screenplay written by Dr Renfield's brother Rufus - shortly
after he'd mailed the manuscript to Rotten Films, the police kicked down
his front door and found that he'd strangled his wife and put her in the
deep freeze cabinet she'd insisted on buying with the money he'd set aside
for his new Play Station 3. It seems that he got a little peckish whilst
he crafted his final masterpiece; the cops saw all the slices he'd cut from
his late spouse's tenderest parts and they were distinctly unamused. |
